Pain For Love
by ILoveChrisBrown
Summary: Kagome starts to hurt herself when she has had enough of Inuyasha running off to Kikyo.


Hey ppl, wad up? This is my 2nd fanfic ever! yay! and this may be the first 1 i actually _finish._ I kinda gave up on my other 1, its kinda...retarded. well, all i really have to say is i don't own Inuyasha and that u should review. but read too. yea

love ya,

masha

Kagome leaned against the rim of the sink, staring at her complexion in the mirror. Dark purple circles that had resulted from lack of sleep surrounded her dark sad brown eyes. But the thing was, she was so sick of being sad, and the only emotion that was inside her was anger. Anger for the man who had protected her, cared for her, and that had gained her love. And anger for the woman whom he loved that he had chosen over her even after she had tried to kill the both of them and was only interested in bringing him to hell with her. But mostly, anger for the fact that he was oblivious to her suffering.

"Inuyasha…" The name escaped her lips and a tear slipped down her cheeks. She opened the medicine cabinet and pulled out a small object. Blood dripped from her fingers as the razor in her hands cut into her palms.

"Oh Inuyasha, I have died for you." Kagome said mockingly, more to herself than anyone else. She snorted a weak laugh and opened her hand to look at the razor in her palm. "You just don't know it…" she added weakly before she squeezed her hand into a fist, cutting the razor further into her flesh.

Kagome grimaced in pain and smirked as a thought came to her, "How would you feel if I died, Inuyasha?" She asked her reflection. Then she frowned. "No…you don't deserve it." Then the anger built up again and Kagome cried out at her reflection. "Don't you know how I feel about you!"

Kagome choked back some tears as she heard a voice downstairs call her name.

"Are you ok honey?" her mother asked her.

"Yeah...I'm fine." Kagome said softly, not caring if her mother heard her or not.

* * *

Flashback

"Kikyo…" he called out her named as he saw the spirit catchers fly above him into the forest. They wanted him to follow.

He turned to Kagome. He knew she would be upset. But he had to go. He gazed at her pleadingly and cocked his head to one side.

Without meeting his gaze Kagome replied softly, "Go…" She looked up at him with a fake smile as he dashed away without a word. Once he had disappeared into the depths of the wood she collapsed on the ground and wept. She no longer cared about her pride. He had been doing this for almost three years. She loved him and she wouldn't deny it. If only he loved her back.

As the sun sank behind the horizon, Kagome gathered herself and headed back to the well she had emerged from a few hours before Inuyasha had left her.

End of Flashback

* * *

Kagome remember that moment and took one last look at her pitiful reflection. She closed her eyes as she screamed internally and thrust the razor across the bathroom, into a corner where it would be lost until the next time.

Next time…Kagome choked back more tears that had threatened to surface. She reminded herself that she mustn't be weak.

"Why?" Kagome wondered as she slid into a corner, finally letting the tears pour freely down her face. "Why do I love him so much?" She asked herself as she drifted off into a deep, troubled sleep.

* * *

Kagome awoke the next morning with sun pouring in the room through the tiny bathroom window. She judged it was around nine or ten and her family was at church. Kagome tried to stand up, but her body ached from the crammed the position she had slept in all night and some of the morning. Once she got up, she dragged herself to the mirror to look at her reflection again.

She looked even worse than she had the night before. Her skin was pale and the dark circles around her eyes had enlarged greatly. Her face was thin and sticky from dried tears. She looked like a corpse- and was suddenly reminded of Kikyo.

Kagome grimaced as a vision of the woman flashed in her mind. How could Inuyasha love someone like that? She didn't even take into consideration that he had fallen in love with her when she was alive.

Kagome shook the image away and stripped herself of clothes to hop in the shower. Inuyasha might come for her soon and she wouldn't be seen like this. Kagome thought of what she would tell him about leaving so suddenly. What would he think? That she got tired of waiting for his return? She shrugged it off and finished up to return to her room.

* * *

The gashes in Kagome's hand hurt. Bad. She ran her finger over the bumps around the cuts. It all took her attention of Inuyasha and Kikyo. For a minute, she forgot all about being unwanted. But the pain still did not compare to what she felt inside. No wound or injury would ever hurt more than her broken heart.

To Kagome, it felt like Inuyasha held her heart in his hands and every time he left with Kikyo he crushed it in his fist. Kagome suddenly felt compared to the wind- sorceress, Kagura. Naraku had her heart in his hands- literally- but Kagura hated Naraku, and Kagome loved Inuyasha. And Kagome had to wonder why she had given him her heart so willingly. He always called her names like wench-or bitch- and made her feel weak and worthless. But, he had protected her and risked his life for her. He cared for her and was extremely possessive of her around other males. But why? She wondered what would happen if she took off the rosary beads. Would he leave her? What is the only thing that connected them? Kagome pondered these questions as she finished dressing.

After brushing her hair quickly and putting on her shoes, Kagome gabbed her already packed bag and ran to the well. She would have to put her feelings aside for a while as she had a job to complete in the feudal era that she could not abandon. No matter how much her heart ached.

A Kagome jumped into the well, she prayed to god that today would be a better day.

ya like? well review and i will update once i get at least 5 reviews. until then, check out my other crappy story :Posession Just Friends.


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